Thursday, May 24, 2007

At My New Job...

...there is spam poetry in the email. Some of it is "really good!"

Here, see for yourselves:
The world itself is pregnant with failure, is the perfect manifestation of imperfection, of the consciousness of failure.
Never lose a holy curiosity.
You have been my friends, replied Charlotte, that in itself is a tremendous thing...
Give me a lever long enough, and a prop strong enough, I can single-handed move the world.
All these primary impulses, not easily described in words, are the springs of man's actions.
Every failure is a step to success.
The child is not to be educated for the present, but for the remote future, and often is opposition to the immediate future.
Calamity is virtue's opportunity.
The empty vessel makes the loudest sound.
Creativity is a highfalutin word for the work I have to do between now and Tuesday.
Human history in essence is the history of ideas.
It is by its promise of a sense of power that evil often attracts the weak.
I worked very hard. I felt I could play the game. The only thing that could stop me was myself.

Another one here:
Two of us, Docteur and Madame Machin, who stand
His sightless eyes horribly watch the air;
Out of the road into a way across
Some stubborn sprouts up through the stubble hay,
Pallid waste where no radiant fathomers,
Figures of light and dark, these two are walking
I bring down a bit of its light
At the white place of the road's vanishing
I do not betray you, I still go forward,
Silent patch of ultimate paint. You are
The winter road from the St. Simeon farm
For any part of them we can make out
I've drifted somewhat from the distant heart
That this mud draws on the stone.
Lucky the bell—still full and deep of throat,
That only you and I can know. Les deux
Suddenly, in a savage, dreadful bend,
—Now that you notice it—have just moved past
He never even dreams, being sheer snow;


Ah, Spam Poetry. I personally love the "creativity is a highfalutin word for the work I have to do between now and Tuesday" line. Yeah. Can we not all understand this sentiment!?

Also, when you are finished enjoying the poetry, you can, in the very same email, purchase Adobe software for the low low price of 99 cents. Originally One Thousand Dollars.

In other job news, my job rocks. Though today it will be hard hard hard. I have to get off the blasted internet now. Now that the day has started.

Ta ta.

7 comments:

Jessica Krug said...

I'm so glad that someone besides me and Malka gets the beauty that is spam poetry.

Table bombs! Lots of rockets! Funny hats!

Anonymous said...

Congrats on your new job! That's so exciting! Horray for jazz and stuff!

*muah*

Charmingly Feisty said...

I used to read spam poetry because it seemed kind of cool. Then I started thinking that it might have a certain rhythm or word order that would take over my mind and make me go online to buy viagra or something. Now I just delete it.

:)

West Coast Midwestern said...

To quote Maroon Memoirs: "I'm so glad that someone besides me and Malka gets the beauty that is spam poetry.

Table bombs! Lots of rockets! Funny hats!"

To quote Spam Poetry: "to society as it trains, educates, facilitates. Additionally, VR computer-generated systems might actually mirror nature because dawn is ridiculously near and thus that its study is pertinent. attack. Nothing happens; impotently he kicks the console,
context."

To quote myself: "I actually would be lying if I claimed I discovered the wonder that is spam poetry all on my own. It was you, Malka and Laurie who first introduced it to me. I, however, forgot entirely about it, until I stumbled upon it yesterday. And oh what a gem it is."

West Coast Midwestern said...

I can't stop! It's all so "meaningful"/amusing!

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
The man who has accomplished all that he thinks worthwhile has begun to die.
God had given you one face, and you make yourself another. [Hamlet]
Americans are overreaching overreaching is the most admirable and most American of the many American excesses.
We should weep for men at their birth, not at their death.
Winners take chances. Like everyone else, they fear failing, but they refuse to let fear control them.
There are some sluggish men who are improved by drinking as there are fruits that are not good until they are rotten.
Man is a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired.
Love is the master key which opens the gates of happiness.
Ambition often puts Men upon doing the meanest offices so climbing is performed in the same position with creeping.
Don't wait for someone to take you under their wing. Find a good wing and climb up underneath it.
Supply always comes on the heels of demand.
Hypocrisy is the homage that vice pays to virtue.

West Coast Midwestern said...

Sunny Blizzard: "I used to read spam poetry because it seemed kind of cool. Then I started thinking that it might have a certain rhythm or word order that would take over my mind and make me go online to buy viagra or something. Now I just delete it.

:) "

So THAT explains all the Viagra I've been purchasing lately! Huh.

Here's one just for you: (Some of these are just downright horrible to both men and women, like 'your girlfriend will meet with other men in bed unless you buy this and have a really humongous penis.' OK, maybe it doesn't use the word "humongous" but it totally should. ALSO, THANKS A LOT, Spam Poets, for your horrendous view of the character of women. Or, you know, people in general.)

"Guys, why should you waste your time going from one grugstore
to another and spend much more money for the pills?
Here in our store you will find everything you desire for the
really lowest prices. Our products are of the highest quality
and absolutely discrete.
Live the full life, enjoy every moment of it - do not let
yourself feel discomfortable"

OK, I'll admit that's hardly even poetry, if at all, but to me it reads really funnily.*

*Funnily is one of those mad lib words when you can't think of a good adverb.

West Coast Midwestern said...

Thanks, Betsy! I know you are a fan of the jazz. It's blues too. And it's a non-profit which works to fund senior programs and youth music programs. It's good stuff.

xxoo